Best Dating Sites For Young People
best dating sites for young people question by : Comprehensive questions about dating, love and life: Calling for thoughtful answer (insights) from?
Calling for thoughtful answer (insights) from psychologists, matured Christians and adults without prejudice. I’d like to express myself as vulnerable as I may sound; a sense of brokenness.
Please be patient with my story. I am 32 years of age (Please see actual picture here for reference: http://s990.photobucket.com/albums/af24/free2010/Me/ ). I am single (never been married; never cohabited with a man as live-in partner) and just decided to join an online christian dating site since January 2010. It has come to my attention that there are quite a few men with ages 46-50′s sending me short note or messages. While I do NOT wish to date a man any younger than me… I was wondering why if this is a reality for me. Do I look old or matured? Do older men like to date younger women? Will my chance of finding men my age or around mid-late 30′s or even early 40′s is slim? I was thinking about my sister…she got married at such a young age when she was 23 years old to a then 35 years old man. So she was probably right that as women get older, your chance of meeting men is getting slimmer. So perhaps I should have started earlier. I actually kind of remember reading an article about it sometime ago.
Being single didn’t bother me for a long time until now. I do feel lonely and would love to have a companion, my best friend to share life with (maybe in fairy-tale only). So I got asked a lot if I’m married already by childhood friends/neighbours and relatives. I feel sad about it actually but what can I do if I just don’t meet anyone… Well, anyone can have somebody but then love is something else. You have to be with someone you are attracted as well romantically.
I must mention that I do come with what may be deemed as baggage to other men. I have one daughter but she is now 17 years of age. I noticed a lot of singles (and a number of divorced men) don’t have any child and few mentioned that they don’t want a ready-made family and that they wish to build their own. I find some men in their 30′s still kind of immature though not necessarily. So men mature late huh?
Unless I am just having delusions, I was called attractive by some people before. But perhaps they don’t mean it. Because if it is true, why is it hard to find men for someone deemed as attractive? I don’t like going to bars or club scenes. I haven’t tried going out with men just for dating or sex. Though the idea came to my mind when I was feeling lonely and vulnerable…that life is hard so might as well just do what others are doing and not to care too much. But I was afraid that by doing so, it might just create emotional problems after. I would say that at times, I’m the type who feels guilty easily and just does not have that brazen feeling deep inside. Like, how does it feel to date men without truly feeling love itself from both sides? Maybe I’m not such a good pretender as well. Though like other people, I am a human being, not made of stone. I do have carnal desire as well.
I have been celibate for few years, a year on and off for well over 10 years. I find it necessary to buy a dildo not just for masturbation itself but I noticed that dildo helps me get my period regularly. Masturbating by yourself can be such hard work at times. I must mention that I have one sexual relationship with only one man for 10 years. We broke up many times over the years and we saw each other months ago and ended up having sex. Perhaps I was with him for a long time and there was a time I felt he loved and truly cared for me. But things changed and when frustrated men are still working on their goals plus cultural factors, it’s hard for them to even think of getting married. The ex-boyfriend actually don’t like to see me especially at my place, though in the past months we had gone to the cafe for a drink. He doesn’t want for me to think that he would be taking advantage. He lives with his elderly mother.
Also in general, I came to think men are so capable of having sex with women without feeling anything at all whatsoever. What a sad schema in life… Perhaps it’s just a fact that’s why in psychology sex is deemed as a basic human need though for some people they managed to live without having any. I wonder if people also end up marrying because of the physical need for sex.
So I guess that’s how life is. Some people are lucky in love. I’m definitely not lucky but I don’t see myself as unlucky either. For it’s better for me to be single than in a marriage that could have had full of discord. Maybe that’s just one of things people loser in love say to make them feel better about themselves. Perhaps God didn’t have that grace for me for some reason… Please pray for me that I can live a reasonably okay life being single. To those who can pray for just a random person like me who is besieged by many sad things in life, thank you very much.
best dating sites for young people best answer:
Answer by Julie
I looked at your pics I think you look like a normal 30 something woman. As for older guys liking you maybe it is just that they find you attractive. I too am in my early thirties and married to a man 7 years my senior. I also have a teen daughter and wouldn’t change it for the world. Maybe you need to quit focusing on age and look at the whole picture. And many women find it easy to have uncommitted sex too. Just keep looking you will find mister right.
Sorry to say that maturity does not come with age, but with acceptance of responsibility. all through out human history men always went for the younger female whether it be subconsciously or a conscious choice for many reasons. one reason younger women can produce children longer consequently wanting to have sex longer. And sometimes older men can relte more to the younger female because maturity will be at the same level.
On the flip side, younger women always tend to go for older men because the male should be established by this time and ready to take on life and not to mention the male should be mature already.
i looked at your photo. i think you are very attractive! but the irony of it is i am 53. i think our society has an unrealistic view of male/female relationships or perhaps i do. our society says we are supposed to find mister or misses right, fall in love, get married, live happily ever after. if i think of every couple i know, very few feel that way. look at how many divorces there are. i look at life in a more realistic approach. usually a 2 people get that infatuation stage at first, then that kind of wears off, we change etc. perhaps we should split in a nice way, be friends, and move on. also it seem like as people in general we always think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. when you are in a realtionship you may feel you want out, but when single you feel lonely. we are never happy. if you are thinking about kids make sure you pick a man that takes care of his responsibilities. be carefull about online dating. look for parteners that have the same life views as you. church, and other activities that you are involved in. gym, art, nature activities, etc.
Websites
There could be many reasons why you’re getting messages from the 46-50 age group i.e. membership base, preference setup, profile info, picture, which message you respond to, etc. You may want to try other Christian dating sites to expand the list of potential connections. The website listed below has a good selection of free Christian dating sites.
Chances of finding a man closer to your age
It’s possible. But I suggest making some changes internally first. Start by eliminating any negative and self defeating thought and word from your vocabulary – “perhaps I should have”, “deemed as baggage to other men”,”maybe in fairy-tale only”,”So men mature late” etc. If we go looking for the negative, that’s what we will find. And it will show in every aspect of your persona; your looks, your health, what you write in your profile, how you respond to potential mates etc.
Start truly believing that you are a smart, sexy, funny person who happens to also be a great mother and a wild animal in bed and you will begin to be more attractive to men. Before making any assumptions about God and his plans for you, realize that finding a compatible mate is partly luck (or divine influence) and partly a numbers game. How many men have you met? 10? 20? 50? What if I told you that the 348th man that meet on a date is the soul mate you are looking for? Or maybe it’s the next guy you meet. =)
I won’t pray for you to have a “reasonably okay life being single.” You can live an AWESOME life being single. You can also live an AWESOME life being in a committed relationship. My prayer is that you figure out how to do both.