Dating after Divorce: Be Prepared!
by Sabrina Jackson
If you’ve been through a tough divorce and haven’t dated in a while, you might think that dating is riding a bike again… but when you hop back on that seat without taking the proper precautions, many newly singles often come to a crashing stop. To avoid skinned knees and another broken heart, be sure to strap on your helmet, safety pads and arm yourself with the following tips to prepare you for dating after divorce:
Leave your baggage at the door. Going through a divorce is undoubtedly one of the hardest things to ever have to endure. But if you re-enter the dating world still clinging to the past, you will be doing nothing but prohibiting yourself from leading a happy, fulfilled life and finding someone new. Be sure to take the time you need to get over your ex so that old problems won’t rear their ugly heads in a new relationship. Once your heart is repaired then it will be open and ready to love again—the past is behind you and the future is bright!
Make a must-have list. Before going out on new dates it is crucial to take a good hard look at your former marriage and determine what you liked about that person and what you didn’t like. Decide what you are looking for in a new partner and make a list of all the non-negotiable qualities and characteristics that are must-haves. Define your ideal relationship and don’t settle for anything less.
Prevent history from repeating itself. To make sure that your next relationship doesn’t meet the same fate as your marriage, it’s necessary to evaluate what led to the demise of you and your ex-spouse – identify your bad habits, problematic behaviors and other mistakes you might have made along the way. Look at these things not as failures, but as learning lessons that have prepared you to be the best that you can be for when Mr. or Mrs. Right walks into the picture.
Be confident. Not only does divorce leave you single, but it also has a funny way of leaving you ridden of all self-esteem. Confidence is a trait that others can’t help but be attracted to – so get yours back by surrounding yourself with uplifting people and doing the things that make YOU happy. Remind yourself that you are an amazing person who is deserving of love and that the termination of your marriage isn’t an end all – it might not seem like it at the time, but there is life after divorce!
Keep the conversation light. When you start dating again and you sit there talking about your nasty divorce that cleaned out your bank account and the new boyfriend or girlfriend your jerk of an ex is parading around town, don’t expect to get a second date with that person. Remember to showcase your best self-reflect nothing but positivity by talking about your hobbies and the things in life that bring you joy.
Show interest. On your first dates back on the dating scene, you are likely to be a little nervous… that’s okay! But to have a successful date, you’ve got to act interested in the other person. People love to talk about themselves – so flatter them by asking a lot of questions and listening intently. The more you get to know about this person, the closer you will get to figuring out if you have a potential match.
Take it slow. After a divorce, you may be left feeling down and lonely, but that doesn’t mean that you need to rush into a new relationship right away to fill a void in your life. Take the time to date around and see what all is out there before jumping head first into a serious commitment again. Have fun and take advantage of the opportunity you have to meet new people and experience new things – you want to make sure that the next person you are with is going to be the last!
Sabrina Jackson shares with us this guest post about how to prepare yourself for dating post-divorce. Additionally, Sabrina writes for Best Free Dating Sites where she offers online singles insight on how to safely use dating sites to enhance their online dating experience.